Burnout Fever

Hello lovelies, it has been a long minute. First of all, happy new year! I pray this year opens doors of goodness, success, happiness and good health.

Who makes their first post of the year at the ending of February?

Uhh… Someone who suffered a burnout.

It won’t be the first time I am experiencing this, it most likely won’t be the last. I hate burnouts! They completely disrupt my creative process, being an unemployed Nigerian, my ‘creative process’ is very important to me. It is the only thing that makes me feel like I am actually doing something. Idleness bothers me. The whole waking up to a predictable schedule is just plain frustrating. It is the very definition of regression. It is a such a huge blessing to have a hobby, a drive, something you look forward to doing. Something that actually requires effort and takes your time. It is definitely a blessing. I know that better now, after this burnout. 

Burnouts don’t just fall from the piths of hell, nada. There is always a trigger, most commonly stress. I found myself in that position towards the ending of last year. It crept up on me slowly, delivering the damage bit by bit. At first I resisted, I kept brushing through the cobwebs it made in my mind forcing some creative juices to spill. It didn’t work for long though, its clutches completely blocked out any will I had to work.  I guess what worsened mine was that I wasn’t just physically exhausted, I was emotionally exhausted. Exhaustion is one of the things that leave me feeling overwhelmed. I don't handle that very well.

I smiled through the physical aspect of the stress because it was caused by something that gave me joy, it was something I loved doing even though it was clearly too much for me to handle. Going to the emotional aspect, urgh! It was a bloody nightmare, I hated every bit of it, it made me want to scream. It was so draining, I literally wished I could blink it away. It ate at me the most. Almost three months later, I am still suffering its devastating effects.

A burnout isn’t something you fight, like I tried doing. It is a process, it works like an indicator, it just means you need a break and it doesn’t send a note with a cute bouquet to inform you, no. It forces you to stop. I think I knew I had to take it slow but I also wanted some level of self-satisfaction that I get from my work, which tells you that I couldn’t be trusted to protect myself from over exhausting myself, hence the grand arrival of Mr. Burnout.

Despite how much I hate burnouts, despite how so behind schedule I have fallen, this break was much needed. Worthy of note is how easy it is to get lost in the ‘break’ that you forget that there is work to be done. I am going to leave you with a takeaway, ‘ Take a break when you are tired, it is okay but don’t let that take away your focus.’

Au revoir!

xx