It has been awhile! Oh, and so much has happened in between. Trust me when I say, all that has been happening has had it's effects on me and on my willingness to write.
I turned 24 in October, it was in the heat of the #endsars protest. It was just like any other day but it's magic was marred by all that. We all know how the protests ended and all the horrifying things that happened.
I was so tempted to pick up my own and just pen down all I was feeling. You know that viral image of the Nigerian flag stained in blood? There were so many words fighting to surface but the horror of it all made me avoid it. It's always hard for me to face such things head on. I can't imagine how those closely affected must have felt.
From then, Its been one horrifying news to the other. The rise in the insurgency and insecurity, Oh my! It has been frighteningly crazy…but to lighter topics now.
This year's birthday, wow! It put a lot of things in perspective. I don't have a long list of achievements lined up - not that the ones I have are insignificant. It's just that I aim towards lots of things. It has its perks though most times I am left feeling underachieved.
I used to get upset with myself for falling short of my goals. However with all that's been happening, I have learned that it's absolutely fine to take it easy with one's self. I think it's an act of self love. There is so much only you know that you go through, even pulling out of them is commendable. It doesn't make you any less an achieved person.
I have come to realize that it's okay to fall short. No, I'm not preaching laziness but I'm advocating for patience. Some of these things you aim for won't come at the speed you imagined them. It's okay to try again another day.
I have learned to take deeper breaths. Sometimes just standing in front of a large Cliff is enough reason to pause and be grateful for the wonderful gift of life. We walk on privileges everyday with ease. We barely even realising how lucky we are.
Am I giving up on my goals? Absolutely not. See, these goals are a part of my endocardium. There's no parting me with them. They form a significant part of who I am and who I aspire to be. I'm open to achieving them at a pace no matter how slow.
The growth hits fast guys! One minutes you're just a kid with little worries next minute you're faced with life altering decisions, consequential responses, important decisions to be made by little 'you', That part, I haven't figured out yet. I mean it's crazy and it'll certainly take some getting used to.
Most of all, I am grateful for the gift of life. I'm glad that I'm still trying to find a reasonable niche on here to at least add some value in your life, to make an impact, no matter how little. It's been years and my blog should have grown bigger - if I didn't lose my magical consistency with my teenage years. I'm still here trying, lol though bit by bit, we'll get there someday in Shaa Allah.
I will be back soon with my latest adventure, In Shaa Allah.
xx
Amina H.
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