2019 in review

I don’t know about you but the last few days have passed by rather quickly. It feels as though I open my eyes blink a couple of times and voila! It’s a new day again (Okay, 😊 Maybe that was a bit exaggerated but it’s the closest that I can describe it)

It has been a roller coaster of a year. I began 2019 with little expectations, honestly I thought how hard can it be? I mean I’m done with University, I have all of my time to myself, I can do whatever I want. In some ways I was right, but in most ways life has taught me lessons. Las Las 2019 showed me shege! I learned some of the hardest lessons of my life this year and faced some of the harshest realities of my life but Alhamdulillah. It has also been an eye opener.

If you have been a reader of this blog I’m sure you have read posts about my goals and things I wanted to achieve in the past years that sadly I still haven’t been able to achieve. In moments of weakness, that makes me feel like a failure but I know it’s not. I have learned that no matter how tiny your steps towards your dreams are, you will get there eventually. So, maybe you won’t get there in the time you planned but you will get there when God wants you to be there. The realization of that has brought me immeasurable peace.

If you have been following me on wattpad I’m sure you know my ongoing book ‘Treasures and thorns”, which sadly I’m yet to complete. I’m actually embarrassed to day that I have been writing it for over two years, however to hit the chord that I want to hit with this post I have to come clean. In those two years I have gone through some very trying times and intense academic pressure with very poor health. Now looking back, I realize that I wrote a lot better under pressure though I assure you it was hell. I always writing for me is associated with certain psychological issues. It affects me in the same way that it heals me. It is an escape in as much as it is prison, yet no matter how hard I run, no matter how difficult it is to actually write, I end up running to it. I guess it’s a pain and cure relationship (I just made that up😂 ).

In relationships, I have come to realize that sometimes innocent, beautiful, helpful looking people aren’t always that. The world is cruel especially for young and softhearted people(I was going to say ladies but it applies to both sexes). Sometimes people are only on the lookout for their own selfish interests even if it takes manipulating you to get there. I’d say do not rush, be smart, be attentive, be careful and most importantly be prayerful. Its okay to loose friends along the way despite how tragic it is because its quite natural to grow apart. There is no joy in forcing a relationship, some connections just blur away with time. Its okay to not know what you want but please take note of what you do not want. Invest in things and people that help you to grow, that challenge you to be the best you can be. The people that antagonize because they find you intimidating and people (no! I’m going to be specific, men) who have a problem with you bring educated are exactly the type of people you should avoid. That energy is bad for your growth, need I remind you that your bloom is a blessing not just to you but to the entire society.

I guess I have learned a little bit more about what I want. As the days go by, my shell starts to feel like prison. This has to be growth at work. I am literally itching to infuse my life with action (in Rumi’s words), build a network (because well no man is an island), go out more, travel more (with purpose), find a source of income (independently because we all know the labour market doesn’t favour we who don’t know anybody who knows somebody) and just live. I think it’s important to live a little especially when you’re in your twenties and single (you know before things get a bit more…complicated).

This feels more like a journal entry than a blogpost but uhhh that’s just the way it is (in Celine Dion’s voice 😉).

I have had a taste of being in a bad place mentally, wanting to escape your mind but realizing that you’re trapped. So I guess I have experienced the prison of the mind and it has taught me to value happiness, chase happiness, fight for happiness and to seek happiness in all I do. As the year draws to an end, I am grateful for the lessons learned, grateful I still have goals to pursue even more grateful for the gift of life and good health. Guys do you think one can eat his way to good health? This thought literally just popped in to my head and I typed it down. So maybe that’s one more thing to look forward to..or not (because I’m such a negligent eater) but bad habits need to go right?
RIGHT!

Okay, I am done boring you with this…whatever you decide to call it! Stay blessed! 😘