Most of the 24 hours in each day, we talk; either in form exchange of pleasantries, side conversation, gossip or deep ones. I'm sure the latter hardly happens, I'm talking about the deep conversations. The ones you have with people closest to you, the ones where you empty out your hearts contents on a blank canvas hoping to decipher some meaning from it. Those conversations where your soul shows as though it were placed in front of a mirror. Those are the important ones. But how often do you have these conversations?
Today is Tuesday but honestly it feels like a Thursday because it's like I have spent over 27 hours in the office this week, coupled with the fact that I haven't been writing well in the past few days. I feel worse, but that isn't the whole truth. There is a lot more going on beneath all of that which I'd probably say is the cause of all that. I talk. I've been talking especially around people I'm comfortable with but so little about what actually matters (probably a wallflower problem). I know where my issues lie, I know what gives me sleepless nights (not literally). The burden of holding so much within me, while I let out so little weighs me down. If you for some reason find this relatable, do read on.
A deep conversation is not a propeller for your dreams to skyrocket in to the skies, No. It is more like a healing balm, a soft nudge, a gentle push in the right direction. It kind of puts things in perspective which isn't a bad place to start. However, not every ear understands such conversations and not just anyone can be a part of it. That's totally normal, so where you you find an ear and a heart that can help?
It's hard but you know there's always a way out. Personally, putting my thoughts on paper help. It gets weight off my chest though I must confess it's been years since I wrote anything in my journal. Being my escape, the thought has crossed my mind a significant number of times this week. I'd say being in your twenties is a pool of many emotions. Sometimes you're floating comfortably at the top while other times you hit rock bottom.
Am I here with a breakthrough? Yes and No. I'll start with the No. No, because I can't tell you I know exactly what is going on everyday in every aspect of my life. I often find myself stuck, despite having a clear image of where I'm heading to. Yes, because I've been in this game for so long, I've had to come up with coping mechanisms.
First, do something. Make wise use of your time engaging in a hobby or a small business even. An idle mind they say is the devil's workshop.
Secondly, pamper yourself. There are only so many people who are willing to do that. Take a shower, wear comfortable cloths, relax in bed with a movie and some snacks. Add a little magic with a scented candle or turaren wuta (If you're like me), some may think it's a tad bit extra but trust me, Aromatherapy works!
Third, open up. I'm not saying break the doors of your inner chambers in from of just anyone. Find a listening ear and talk to them. Sometimes a conversation with one who understands and cares is pure bliss.
Today's post is a clear reflection of how I'm feeling today. I'm glad I've been able to pour out this little piece of my heart here. I hope you've picked up a thing a two.
xx
