A Wave 0f Desperation

I recently observed how young ladies are eager and desperate to get married. This desperation-from what I've noticed-comes from comparing themselves to others. When they realize that everyone around them is either married,engaged or in a serious relationship they start to get depressed.

The first mistake is comparing themselves to others. We are different people,with different interest,likes and dislikes and our path in this life is definitely not the same.

Desperation pushes her to settle for less,much less than what she wants and can tolerate. she reduces her standards to the barest minimum in a reckless attempt to find a husband. In this recklessness,she belittles her heart to someone who isn't worth it,who doesn't know her heart and who would probably never value her.

I've witnessed a situation where a young lady-just a year older than myself- was complaining about her boyfriend saying he never calls and that he doesn't pay attention to her or anything she has to say. The reply he gave her provoked me. "It seems you're not ready for marriage and I'm not getting any younger,I need to settle down." At nineteen there is absolutely no way i'll listen to anyone who spills that crap. I mean if he is old enough to think that he's not getting any younger then he's too old for a nineteen year old. This same guy persistently insisted on going to meet her parents concerning marrying her. I'm sure you can imagine how-if that union were to happen-that marriage would look like.

I believe that I'm way too young for such things because Most men out there are cunning,selfish,heartless with no sense of responsibility,they just exploit young innocent ladies to their own satisfaction. I also know that every lady ought to take sometime to be alone to understand herself,listen to her heart and to dream. This will definitely help you to know what you really want.

Sometimes the excuse is "My sister is 18 and she's engaged and I'm 20 and I'm not even in a relationship" so she goes with the first person who approaches her and the next thing you know she's getting married too. The thing we fail to understand is that we are all different people with different destinies. Let's take an example,if for instance it takes your friend or sister two minutes to finish a 100m race, you might finish it in five minutes. That does not make u weak no,it just means she's faster than you perhaps only at short distanced races. This difference between you two makes each one of you unique,it distinguishes you from each other.

I really don't understand the desperation. Could it be lack of dreams or goals? I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish-if not all,at least half before I say I'm ready for marriage. Also,I must have someone in mind with all the qualities that I want in a husband and in my children's father.

I wonder if some people just want to have a wedding and not a marriage; maybe the beauty of weddings appeal to them and they want to experience it too. However weddings only last for a few days and marriage should be for a lifetime. You have to tolerate your spouse at his highs and lows,you have to be a wife and a mother,you have to make sacrifices in your role as both.

Dear reader,if you know of anyone who is desperate tell them to calm down and relax. Marriage is a lifetime commitment,its not something you jump into. Its the key to your future happiness and the way you make your decisions concerning it will affect you and your future greatly. A lot of problems begin to arise when you compare yourself to others. We are all different people with different beliefs and different destinies. We are all meant to walk different paths at different times. Do not compare yourself to others;look only at yourself,count your blessing and take everything bit by bit, just enjoy life, learn your lessons. When your time comes,you'll know deep in your heart that that is your time and your moment to begin living your dreams of being the type of wife and mother you've always wanted to be!

Color Combo:Orange and Green

Color combinations are now the order of the day. We know longer live in the era of matching your outfits,its all about the right color combination. People don't just combine colors randomly,its done with the help of the color wheel-which I still don't fully understand how it works. One of my favorite color combination is Orange and Green. What are your favorite color combinations ?

Pick Only 2: Love,Health or Money

Hello there! I came across this photo earlier on my blackberry messenger. It got me thinking, which will I really pick? The first thing that came to my mind was "the three,I want the three" But that would be cheating,so I thought again and here is what I came up with. I did not really give it much thought after seeing it, I had showed it to a friend so as to find out which she would pick and she suddenly asked me "What will you really pick?" I almost blurted my answer. "love and health". It might sound a bit crazy to most people but that is just it for me. Health I believe is superior and it has to come first. Health is wealth, Nothing in this world compares to health, If u do have money but you're always sick, you would be miserable. Also,if you're blessed with love(it could be from family,friends or even your spouse), there would be many people by your side to nurse you and it'll feel good to have people by your side but that doesn't really take away the illness,even though it feels nice to have people around. I'll explain why I chose love over money. Money can get you so many things in life and it can also take you to many places in the world. Money can buy you luxury,comfort and many other material things but it can not buy the important things in life. Money cannot buy happiness,peace,true love,compassion,A happy home or a close knit family. A mansion would feel lonely and empty without the above. All the luxury in the world will only make you more miserable if you have no reason to smile or you have no one to share it with. If you have the honesty and compassion of people it will help a lot in seeking for a source of livelihood. Love has a variety of meanings. It does not just refer to romantic feelings towards one other. It also extends to affection,kindness,selflessness and compassion. Love makes life beautiful,it makes all the hardship of life worth it. What will you pick?

K-Drama

  K-Drama ( korean drama) refers to TV dramas made in south Korea and in korean language.
  My first encounter with k-Drama was in May 2013 right after my WAEC(West African examination council) exams. It is a university entry examination for West African students.
   I had first seen it on the free to air satellite,MBC 4 to be precise. It was aired named and translated in Arabic. (Ayam El-Zohour). It immediately caught my attention even though I had no idea what they were saying. I googled the English name and bought it. After Boys Over Flowers,I started paying attention to korean dramas. I have really learned a lot about korean culture from their Dramas.
   I got into watching korean dramas immediately after 'Boys Over Flowers'. The more dramas I watched,the more my interest in korean language and culture increased. I absolutely adore a lot about their culture;The way they greet,the way they sit to eat,their respect for elders,their friendly nature towards strangers,I love their dress(The hanbok) and I love how modest it is and if you watch saguek(historical films) you'll notice how perfect the colour combinations of the hanbok are. And God knows I love their architecture. Their ancient houses are so fascinating and don't even get me started on their technology.
 I used to refer to most of the asians as chinese, 'Chun gi, chun gi'.By the way, I don't think 'chun gi chin gi' is an actual Chinese word,its just a word my siblings and I use to refer to anything chinese. I assumed that they all spoke the same language,share the same culture and wear the same clothes. I thought the only difference was their country but I was really mistaken.
   I'll be writing more about korea and k-drama in my subsequent blog posts. Anyeong(Bye)! Disclaimer: The picture above is NOT mine! It was gotten from the web.

Hijabify Your Ankara

Hello Beauties! Have you ever thought of how to style your ankara differently?
   Sometimes when I'm a bit sick or just lethargic, I don't find it convenient to use a veil on my Ankara. Some other times I just want to try something different. Instead, depending on the style of my ankara I use a stretchy top inside my Ankara,a pair of sleeve or a bolero jacket.
  Take a look at how I hijabified my Ankara with a Bolero jacket.

The Arewa Girl

  

As I've been getting older, I'm gradually understanding some things. I'm starting to see and appreciate the beauty of my culture.

'Arewa' is the hausa word for North. The Northern part of Nigeria is mainly occupied by the hausa people. Almost every one in arewa speaks hausa. All other languages in arewa kind of fall under hausa. According to Bayajidda's(The founder of the hausa kingdom) story my very own Nupe language falls under the banza bakwai(Bogus seven) because according to the myth,our ancestor was a slave. I don't agree with that part of Bayyajidda's story though. Banza bakwai??? Seriously? Alright, enough of mythology.

This is the 'Tambarin Arewa' meaning the sign of The North 

A very beautiful aspect of the arewa culture is our mode of dressing. Every arewa girl takes pride in dressing up traditionally. I'm not exaggerating but every time I wear my atamfa,tie my dankwali(hair tie) and put on accessories, I transform into a beautiful princess. The gele(veil) is another stunning contributor to the attire. The gele is draped over the ankara to further cover the body. You'll be amazed by how much it'll beautify the outfit.

My Scottish cousin Mariam,looks stunning in full Atamfa(Ankara)

The arewa girl is an outstanding creature whose beauty is kept covered yet it stands out. This radiant beauty shines inside and out. The culture itself protects gher and trains her to become an impeccable person. It teaches her to remain true to her self and dedicated to the betterment society. She has the most generous soul...ever willing to give,ever willing to help.

Maryam and Rukkaya looking beautiful in their attire

The Ankara

Hello there! Today,I'll be writing about the African traditional wear which is known as Ankara. Ankara is the traditional and native wear of Africans. Although the fabric was not originally made in Africa nor was it for Africans,the manufacturers targeted Africa because of the tribal print nature of the fabric. Each tribe has its own way of wearing the Ankara. In some parts of Nigeria,the men tie the Ankara around their waist while the women sew blouses and wrappers with theirs. In Arewa(the north),Ankara is known as Atamfa and it is only worn by the women. A veil(mostly big) is draped over the ankara,so as to cover the body. The veil adds to the beauty of the outfit. Ankara comes in various prints and variety of colors. Unlike in the ancient times when Ankara used to be sewn in to a blouse and plain wrappers, it is now being sewn in to fashionable gowns,wrappers,skirts and tops. Ankara is now also being used to make shoes,bags,earrings,bracelets and other fashionable accessories. Photos Featuring: Rukkaya Saidu and Amina Haruna.

The Hijab.

iv> Hello! Its been a long time since my last post. I've been so distracted with school and life.
I'm sure most of you have heard of the 'Hijab'. Well since in shaa Allah I'll be blogging about modest fashion, I decided to first discuss the hijab.
   Hijab is an Arabic word meaning 'cover'. It is a veil worn by the muslim women which covers the head and the chest. It symbolizes modesty and morality. The hijab is worn by the muslim women when leaving the house or in the presence of men who are not their close relatives(Mahram). This category of close relatives include men who are not permitted to marry a woman. These include;Father,Brothers,Uncles,her son,stepson among others.
   However the hijab is more than just a piece of clothing. The hijab does not only mean to cover ones body. The quran tells both male and female to 'lower our gaze and protect our chastity.' It also refers to the modest way opposite sexes relate with one another. It involves the way we speak,our words and also the tone of our voice.
    Most people believe the native long flowing hijab is the only acceptable form of hijab. No matter how covered you are,if the native hijab is absent,they do not believe you're wearing a hijab. However this is wrong. The quran does not specify a particular fabric or piece of clothing as hijab,it just tells us to cover our body exposing only the hands and face.
  

On a different note,you might notice me repeat veils,bags or shoes in my photos,don't hold it against me,I'm just an average girl out to explore modest fashion!

Fashion and modesty

Fashion has always been something I love,but like most things it takes time to create your own sense of fashion. Fashion is an art on its own which people play around with everyday. A popular misconception is that fashion equals indecency,this is not true! 

   Modesty is beautiful. Modesty is freedom. The freedom of choosing to cover your body in a world where ladies feel like they need to show skin to prove their beauty. This blog will In shaa Allah be dedicated to modest fashion,makeup and some random things

   I hope you'll join me on this journey of creating my sense of style and In shaa Allah,helping others too!